Dear MRZ:

You wrote: “I fear he just settled for me because I was nice and made him feel good, rather than dating me out of genuine liking”- you presented the two things as if they are different. We people genuinely like the people that like us.

You wrote: “I worry he is with me for logical reasons rather than what he feels in his heart”- again, it is not one or the other. It is probably both. If he is more logical than he is emotional, then it is a good thing and you can trust him more that although he may feel attraction to any other woman, he would not pursue her, for… logical reasons, and that pride you mentioned, pride in his integrity.

You asked: “Should I worry about whether or not I may have been his preferred choice when we started dating?” No, you shouldn’t. Because you were not like a dress shirt that he purchased because the other was too expensive and therefore stuck with a second choice. There has been a relationship going on with you for five years, something one cannot have with an item, like a dress shirt.

The quality of the relationship is in the process, still  ongoing.

You asked: “Does it matter who  initiated the relationship?”- no. What matters is the process, what is happening in the relationship, making it better now.

Your insecurities preceded the relationship with him, correct? If so, would you like to elaborate on these insecurities prior to the relationship with your fiancé?

anita