Anita,

I don’t understand either but that was the advice I was given by my therapist. She then sent me a letter in the post confirming my dismissal and a list of counselling services.

And I do fear criticism, also embarrassment. Yes I did receive such criticism as a child from my father and older sister. At home I remember my Dad was very serious and he used to beat me as discipline and call me names such as worthless. I can’t remember why I used to get beaten but I believe it was over innocent little things I did as a child. This made me fearful of father and I was also confused emotionally as he would hug and show me love sometimes then criticise and beat me. Also my older sister would tease and criticise me as a child calling me a big head, skinny, anything to do with my appearance. This affected my confidence. She would also embarass me alot aswell. I remember at family event I was getting told off by an elder and she was making faces behind the elder’s back making me feel shamed. I then attacked her out of anger.

My mother was the only one who showed me love and appreciation so when she passed away it was really hard for me. I found it difficult to express my emotions as I didn’t trust anyone. My mom was the only one who didn’t criticise me. I remember as a child askin her to split up with my Dad.