Dear Trixie:

After a one month relationship with Tom you got pregnant, knowing you were pregnant three months into the relationship. You separated from Tom and then three months later you met  Harry and started a relationship with him that is one month long so  far, correct?

You wrote about the very beginning of your relationship with Tom: “so we ended up chatting and  exchanging  numbers. Well from that day forward we were inseparable, our chemistry was great he was like this giant piece of myself that I was missing.”

You wrote about the beginning of the relationship with Harry: “we started  talking and we had a  lot in common. He swept me  off my feet, he treated me  so differently than tom. He was so caring  and compassionate. He is super sincere  and honest… it felt right  at the time.”

My input: if I read  correctly and you know  Harry for only a month, it is  too soon for you to know who Harry is. Too soon to decide that he  is indeed “super sincere and  honest”. He may be sincere and  honest, superbly so in some areas and not in others. You have to know a person in different contexts and over time to determine such things as sincerity and honesty, trustworthiness, resilience, persistence, values.

Also, right following experiencing the worst that you experienced with Tom, in comparison, Harry shines. For now, he shines.

You had a very difficult time as a young  mother with a daughter and not having enough money to make a family  of three work out. Tom also had a very difficult time and the two of you, from one point on, turned against each other, fighting.

If you and  Tom did  get back together, the fighting  will have to not restart, that will need to be attended to  first, to the  two of you not turning  against each other.

Back to Harry, again, if it is  only one  month, there  is no way to determine  a man’s character in one month, no way  at all. Maybe  if you read a reliable thesis about  him with documentation about his history, his activities during  his lifetime in all areas… but you don’t have that  information.

If you would like, let  me  know more of your thoughts

anita