Small Update:

I talked to him about the Instagram pictures and that I didn’t feel comfortable and found it suspicious. He tried reassuring me that it was nothing and that he doesn’t even remember liking them (I think that’s a lie). I asked him why he’s always acting so weird around the subject of that girl and he says it’s because he’s ashamed and that I’m always making him feel ashamed. I know shame is a powerful emotion and I can somehow believe him. I’ve dealt with shame a lot, actually I daily deal with it. Still I’m so scared of being lied to, played with. Even if it’s small lies, I feel very uncomfortable about them. I’ve decided to let it rest, I worked out with a friend later and that definitely helped me blow off steam.

I just wonder how do you repair broken trust? Can we even? Why are we so focused on the past all the time?

Mark,

You are definitely right, this feels like a heavy “transition” in my life and I seem to doubt absolutely everything and every choice I make. My boyfriend must be going through the same but we can’t always seem to help each other.

Anita,

Yes I’ve definitely made some mistakes with my boyfriend and the previous one. I’m still learning what’s okay to share and what’s not. Sometimes it can feel as if there’s room to share certain thoughts and feelings but afterwards it comes back to me to bite me in the butt. The dramatic behavior is that I get upset easily and tend to always expect the worst. One small feat can discourage my whole day. Then I need to vent and often i’ll go and confront the person I have a problem with. People dislike the confrontation and call me dramatic. Well two boyfriends have told me this. I think it’s a mean thing to say. Everyone has feelings and if you step on them you’ll get a reaction. I think most humans respond to pain so why judge me so hard for being hurt you know..

I just have problems trusting men in general to be honest. My dad has cheated on my mom multiple times, my previous boyfriend would lie to get me in bed or lie about where he was hanging out. I can’t tell truth from a lie anymore.