Dear Berta:

You are welcome.

You wrote that the man on the escalator reminded you of how your father was with you as a child. And yet, you wrote that you have “abandonment feelings associated with (your) dad”-

In your original post you wrote: “I recognize when my boyfriend shows me he loves me… but I often feel he does this from some kind of distant place”

I am thinking that the reason you feel your boyfriend loves you “from some kind of distant place” may be that mix of affection and abandonment you experienced with your father. It may be that you want more of the Affection part of the mix and less of the Abandonment part of the mix with your boyfriend. Anxiety about abandonment fuels the craving for shows of affection.

What do you think?

anita