Dear Unicornmeadows:

The reason I asked for a he said/ she said account of the post breakup argument is to see how the two of you deal with anger. It would tell me probably how the two of you dealt with anger before the breakup.

When all goes well in a relationship, well… all goes well. It is when conflicts arise that the challenge exists.

You wrote that the two of you were “in love and happy”- maybe he wasn’t, not for a while. Likely, he wasn’t and that is why he broke up with you. But he didn’t tell you his reason, other than the general, non-confrontational one that he gave you. Maybe he didn’t tell you the reason because he is afraid of fighting.

If he is, it does not mean necessarily that he has a valid reason to be scared of confronting you personally. What it means that he is afraid to confront, to deal with another person’ anger, and/or his own.

Did you notice this about him before the breakup, during the relationship, that he compromised his honesty sharing with you (or with other people in other types of relationships) so to avoid conflict?

anita