Anita,

It is interesting you say you cut contact because I have recently done that as well. I felt like all my attempts got nowhere and I couldnt take it anymore. My father has always been preoccupied with his own life and I could never understand it. I also, like you, broke my heart over and over trying to understand –  because I wanted closeness to my family (still want). They also all have significant others- and I do not, so that makes it incredibly alienating as well. Luckily I have great friends but most are married and have families of their own.

When I was younger I kept myself constantly distracted so I didnt have to acknowledge the dysfunction- but now through healing and working on growth and introspection I do feel better but also I feel incredibly alone. I guess it is comforting hearing you say that it helped you find peace and move on by doing that. I guess I feel guilty