Hey Anita. My weekend was quite stressful I just tried to live and not focus on whats going on around me.

He was being kind of petty this weekend. My best friend came down and we had a slumber party. She helped me kind of not fall into his drama. He still upset me yesterday because sometimes he is just so extra.

I can’t really tell yet if he doesn’t care or he is just trying very hard to exude it. But still no apology in the air…

I cant really worry about if he cares anymore though. That’s what I have told myself over the past few days. I just need to live…live genuinely but as if he isn’t even there.

I’m still getting my head wrapped around not letting him affect my decisions. Like I said above, living genuinely and do what I want but not things that have anything to do with him if it makes sense. Just trying not to care what he would think about what I am doing. Because facts are I have no idea what he has been doing the past 11 days.

But if he is so dead set on acting as if none of this phases him…I don’t know if I can match that. But I can exude that nothing your taking from me (figuratively or literally) can’t be replaced. Rice cooker or anything else lol <–there one goes haha.

But overall my weekend was good my best friend made the time enjoyable instead of me sitting around thinking about him.

Ive organized a plan on what I am going to do on the 30th and I am confident that everything is going to go well.

Best friend says he just doesn’t appreciate me so this time will either make him realize that what I brought to his life was irreplaceable and he was fortunate OR he will remain in his mindset. Either way she thinks my decision is the best for showing what he is willing to do for what we had together.

So if it does turn out to be that we never connect again. I will know that he just wasn’t who was for me anyways. A very long time ago I should have put him in the position to decide about me on his own. Instead I made choices and gravitated myself to him almost to where he didn’t even have to choose it because I was already in the palm of my hand. I let him affect my decision making before I should have which maybe if I hadn’t I would have corned him a lot sooner into showing me this side of him. What happens when someone isn’t basically…chasing after him.