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Hey Debido,
I understand what you are going through. My partner who I thought I was going to be with forever broke up with me last year, after telling me he wanted to get married and I should start looking for engagement rings.
Everyone’s experience and feelings are different but I thought I would share some things that helped me along my journey.
Let yourself feel the pain. Embrace it, cry, sob and howl for as long as you need. There will be so many questions you will have for him, why this and why that. It won’t make you feel better knowing all the details. I am a hopeless romantic, who believes in soul mates and everything happens for a reason so I would say this guy doesn’t deserve you and your love. It doesn’t sound like it was meant to be. You cannot make anyone do or feel something they are not capable of or really want to. Do not wait for him. The things that are meant to be for us should never pass us.
If you have a sibling or a close friend who will be there for you, call them. We can sometimes never go through these things on our own. My sister looked after me whilst I cried for 24 hours straight. But after a couple of days, I stood up and brushed myself off and told myself to pull it together and time to move on to bigger and better things. We are still good friends, and we talk every now and then on the phone. Its brutal mourning the loss of the plans you had together, places you wanted to go, trips to take etc. But what’s even more exciting is planning new things for yourself and what you want to do on your own. Start planning 🙂
Starting a journal is another tool that really helped my journey. I started writing things down like questions I had for myself or him and the answers would come to me. Ask yourself what you are truly grateful for out of the whole experience. What did you learn about yourself in the meantime of your relationship or your break up? Did your relationship bring you closer to anyone or anything?
Never deny your body and soul to feel effects of the pain.
You are loved and the person who truly deserves you will be around soon <3