Thanks Anita, you have a point. I took one course in psychology and loved it. But I guess I’ve taken on the mentality that if it accomplishes nothing, why put effort into anything. So self-destructive, I know. I think my battle with depression really takes over more than I’d like it to.

As far as poetry, I’ll post one I wrote about an hour ago. My poetry seems rather dismal lately, because that’s the outlook I have right now. But it’s a very therapeutic way to express emotion, whether it be happiness or sadness. I guess I’ve just been feeling more of the latter lately.

Anyway, here’s the poem:

Another gray day

And I feel so far away

From everything I once enjoyed,

From the company with which I’m employed.

The joy in my heart feels dead

Just as my mind when I lay down for bed.

Don’t get me wrong

I have a million thoughts and a song

Swimming through my brain

At any moment just to keep sane.

But I can’t express them in words

For fear of being misheard,

And I’m tired of saying the same things

Especially when to my heart no joy it brings.

I just want to scream out

Everything I’m about

And have someone listen with anticipation

As my life runs through their imagination.

But is it worthy I wonder;

Will it matter even when I go under?

I want to leave an impression

More than just my depression.

I don’t want people to remember me

For all the pain and misery.

I’d rather they understand

That I was a conflicted man,

But my heart was always in the right place

Even if I could never keep pace.

But where to begin?

And what is my goal in the end?

Questions I have no answers to

But how I desperately wish to know the truth.

I guess it’s just part of life’s big mystery

That we all must form our own destiny,

Even though some of us may fall flat

And not have the will for another at bat.

In the end

I just want to comprehend

Why I’m here

And what I hold dear.