from what I remember, yes i felt like that a lot at times. I never thought too much of my childhood in the context of my relationships. I know I have an avoidant anxious attachment style, yet even that is a little confusing to understand yet. A part of me also feels silly, like I’m making excuses about my relationship by diving so much into my past, when the answer could just be right in front of me. If it can work out between us, I’m also just scared of how I will be able to maintain both a relationship and intense self exploration. So many people say you should be single to find yourself out, but I would like to grow with him.