+1 for all of stuff written above.

You can’t love someone if you do not love yourself first. Moreover, the only person that can truly look after yourself is indeed yourself. So focus on yourself – caring and developing and self-growth would be worthwhile to look into to and while getting over him.

As for dealing with toxicity, learn to stand up for yourself and that you don’t need to deal with anyone’s crap. Walk away- respect yourself enough to not be treated like that or abused.

The answer is in yourself, not anyone or anywhere else.