Thanks yes that is right I needed and loved him through that transition of me leaving my ex husband and taking my 3 kiddies with me. Our connection was absolutely amazing first ever for me and him.

Though he isn’t really holding me hostage- many times he says don’t be with me if you feel sorry for me – he says if you don’t love me don’t be with me he reassures me and says he will be fine and cope . And he just want me and kids to be happy.

Yet he will say other times how he couldn’t sleep eat or function, he lost 15kgs! And he’ll never love anyone ever again , and I make him so happy and I’m his everything forever.

So yeah it Def confuses me ! He believes our connection is very rare – but that connection seems to be not as strong for me now I wish it was but it isn’t.  I miss so much how it used to be .He doesn’t seem to believe me he thinks I have no idea how rare it is and to not push him away. As no one will ever love me as he does. I do wonder if he is right.

I don’t like to be alone to be honest, I don’t want to be single forever and I love myself enough to know not to settle just because. The more I write the more clearer it’s getting, thanks anita.