Dear Jenny Lynn:

Yes, Glen was mean to you: not acknowledging your birthday, knowing how important it is to you, on purpose, so to punish you, that is mean. Giving you the silent treatments, not budging, on purpose, so “to make (you) sweat”, that is mean. His intention again and again was to cause you pain, to watch you sweat, to punish you. I don’t think anyone …thrives living with a mean person, being repeatedly punished, especially for … crimes you didn’t commit!

Regardless, being punished repeatedly is harmful for anyone’s mental health. If a man has a problem with you, he should bring it up for discussion and resolution.

Punishing should not be a part of a relationship!

And so, if you meet a punishing man again, one who gives silent treatments, one who wants  you to suffer- run for the hills. (You have paid your dues to suffering, if such were required!)

As  to your questions: I think that a previously deceptive person can be honest later and trust can be established in a relationship where previously there was no trust. The motivation in the previously habitually deceiving person has to be sincere, long lasting and he (or she) needs the skills to be able to persist in changing.

anita