Dear Grey Heron:

You wrote about the man in your previous relationship: “within the year he was married to the ‘other’ woman and with a new baby on the way. So what that ended up meaning was that he didn’t want kids with ME.”

If his child with his wife was not planned, that would mean that he didn’t want a kid with her either. After all, often people have unplanned children. Can it be that your conclusion (italicized) is not correct?

Regarding your present relationship: did he share with you his thoughts and feelings about having children, for and against the prospect?

I wonder if he shared with you his experience as a child, as this may have relevance to the issue.

anita