Dear Grey Heron:

You are welcome.

A comment that may not be relevant to you, regarding “I feel that if I could love children which aren’t my own… then it must be magnified with my own biological child(ren)”-

I think that the emotions you will feel for your own children will be magnified, are likely to be more intense. What I learned though, is that more intense emotions doesn’t make a mother a better mother. There may be too much of the mother seeing herself in the child, leading to inaccurate projection.

Regarding your partner, you wrote that “he doesn’t seem to have much tolerance for ones which cry and are high spirited”- that is concerning, as you consider him being the father of your child or children as they will cry and may be high spirited.

Parenting, like you suggested, shouldn’t be forced or pressured. Doesn’t read to me that he is at all interested. He may give in to you in September, not wanting to lose you, or giving in to the pressure (there is some pressure he feels, there is the September deadline), but that would not be a good idea, that he enters parenthood unwilling.

I am wondering, does he ever cry and is he low spirited?

anita