Dear Annabelle:

Again, safety is the valid primary concern for anyone associated with your sister because of her associations.

As to her motivation: reads to me that she was, understandably, angry as a child, growing up with what you refer to as narcissist parents. Her anger is evident as an adult in her history at work (“She has been fired from jobs bc she is obstinate and defiant with coworkers and mangers”).

Her anger toward her/ your parents has not been resolved to this day. She is still angry at them. Her anger makes her inner experience intense, chaotic, and dramatic, and that is why, I believe, “she is attracted to people with intense, chaotic, and dramatic things happening in their lives.” Her inner experience is rough, and so she “always preferred to hang out with a rough crowd”.

She rebelled against your parents by using profanity against your parents and  sneaking in boys into her room as an adolescent, didn’t she. She may still be rebelling now by associating and supporting people who are rejected by society,  like this man who was convicted with such a violent crime that maybe everyone rejects.

Her chaotic inner experience, the ongoing anger, the rebellion, she needs to match that with her outside reality, I am thinking. It gives her relief, and that relief may very well be her primary motivation, a relief from her inner experience. When the drama happens outside of her- it is no longer happening only inside of her. It is like an anxious person being in a movie theater watching a horror movie- she gets a relief from her anxiety by being absorbed in the movie outside of her.

There may be other motivations. Let me know what you think so far.

anita