Dear ally:

As I read your posts on your previous thread the following thought occurred to me, following this quote from your March thread: “I have tried many times to bring us together, as the oldest I try to fix everything, which ends up blowing up in my face. The part now I am having difficulty with is ACCEPTING the reality of the situation”.

When you took on the task of bringing your family together, fixing everything, you had a sense of power in it. You believed that you have the power to fix things. In the dysfunctional setting of your family, that belief in your power gave you hope for a future safety, that once you fixed everything you will have a safe family, a safe life.

It is that belief in your personal power that kept you going in your family setting. It worked for you, in that setting. Not because you fixed anything but because you believed you can, and therefore, there was hope for you.

It is a false belief that kept you going. This false belief is in your way  now, as you have real hope for a safer life, as an adult, away from your family. You don’t have to believe anymore in a power that you do not have, a power you never had.

anita