Hi Airene, thanks for replying. 1.He is emotionally “cold” I guess with everyone but I feel its the worst with me because I try to talk about it. Other people in my family dont like to talk about emotions so it makes me kind of the black sheep. 2. I sometimes wonder if there is some narcissism there. He can be very friendly to people but if you try to question anything he gaslights and tries to use things against you until you stop. I feel like if I dont talk about feelings and just put up with the toxic behavior that Im kind of allowing it?

Hi Anita, thanks again for replying to me. I did realize after lots of introspection that it is a ‘power’ thing as you say. When you feel helpless and powerless as a child you try to find ways to gain control. I deff did that for years trying to keep everyone together. I have accepted I am not responsible for keeping everyone together and trying to make everyone happy. Now is the problem of being around people that are emotionally toxic. I dont try to change them or fix them anymore but Im wondering where I draw the line in the sand for treatment. For example I left immediately when the conversation started escalating and swearing was used. I stated that wasnt acceptable. Its painful still for me to leave – just as its painful for me to stay.