Amy and Coconut, thank-you for your replies. I’ll try to respond soon. I’m not doing well. Everything is falling apart. I’m losing all the support, what little I have, I’m losing it all. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t even have the community paramedics to talk to anymore.. it’s not in there ‘job’ description anymore. What is in their job description is to now advocate for me and i tried to tell them I need them to advocate about a few services I’m losing and how horrible these 2 agencies (that provide these services are from) .. these agencies are treating me like crap. Uncalled for, accusing me of things i said and did.. when in fact they were lied to and now they’re triggering me.. I attempted several times over all this cause I just can’t deal with it. What I needs is for this paramedic to make sure I don’t get treated like a piece of dirt again, instead he’s like “I don’t need to hear your side cause I’m not taking sides” Well then how is that advocating for me?? Do all these ppl want me to take these things to the news or something, so no other person gets treated so badly they feel like dying?

Oh, I told them that the person hurting me (I didn’t say more than one person) but I told the paramedic yesterday that the guy is an officer. The paramedic didn’t even flinch or say anything besides ‘They aren’t above the law’ That was it. It was soooo hard for me to share it and that’s all I got? I feel so un supported. Unfortunately, I’ve fallen 10 steps backwards in being able to trust these paramedics. Plus, they put one as my main.. ‘in charge’ so to speak regarding visits, my file ect.. WHY, why can’t I have a female???  🙁  I’m tired of trying to fight for myself.

Also, last night I overdosed last night. Probably will tonight. I know there are services to call, places to chat but I can’t do it. Mine as well keep on keeping my mouth shut cause that’s what makes everything around here less painful for me. Less painful how, less painful because that’s how this guy likes it. When my mouth is shut. I should have NEVER told the paramedic this guys job. He’s going to find out, paramedics and police are like best buddies.

Amy, I so appreciate your support here and Coconut, thank-you for joining this thread. I appreciate it.