He was very offended when I told him I didn’t want to introduce him to my children just yet. I tried to explain to him why but it caused a lot of tension in the relationship and he would often bring it up in a scornful way. He acted like it was an insult against him and like I didn’t trust him. He acted as though I was very much in the wrong. To be honest up until this point I have felt a lot a guilt over that, I was beginning to feel like I was lucky to find a man interested enough to want to meet my children and that I’ve ‘thrown him away’. I very much appreciate the new perspective on that aspect of the relationship, it has opened my eyes. I don’t believe he would have ever brought any harm to my children but his lack of consideration about it is concerning.

He could be quite impulsive and although I wouldn’t call him cruel he seemed the type to hold a grudge (I picked up on it when he talked about his ex or lost friends). I looked passed his flaws and imperfections though because I could truly see a goodness inside him. I’ve never felt so content and happy as I did when I was in his company. He felt like a missing piece to me, like we fit together to make a whole.

When I try and bring up how much this is hurting me he doesn’t seem overly concerned. Infact looking back through our messages he doesn’t really acknowledge when I say it or respond to it.

I feel that for my children’s sake if for nothing else that I’m best to cut him out of my life. I’ve been very down this past month and although they are young both of my children have picked up on my sadness and have caught me crying over him. It’s just so hard as I keep asking myself ‘What if’ and replaying everything through my head over and over. I’m driving myself insane