Dear FullOfRemore86:

Reads to me that he is self centered to the point of not being reasonable. A reasonable man would consider that a woman should not introduce a man into her children’s lives so soon and respect you for that. He on the other hand took it as a personal insult against him, as if your reasonable cautious behavior that applies to any and every man in his position was about him.

This means he is likely to believe other choices you would make, choices that displease him, are insults against him.

You wrote that you keep asking yourself “What if”- I can suggest to you my possibilities of what-if:

He continues to point to you as the Wrong One, when there is conflict, when things don’t go as he wishes that they go. Knowing how he responds to you when he believes you are wrong, you are quick to apologize and try to make it up to him. A pattern is born: he accuses you of wrong doing, you apologize, he punishes you some, eventually, maybe forgives you.. until next time.

Living with you and your children, he points to them as the ones being in the Wrong, when in conflict with him. Doesn’t matter that they are children and he is the adult, physically. They walk on eggshells, afraid to be accused as wrong, and over time, believing that they are in the wrong (a damaging core belief to live with).

I think better cut him out of your life, like you wrote.

anita