Dear Simona:

I don’t think you “keep attracting this type of men”. I think that loving, mature, ready to commit, mentally healthy men (and women) are very rare, this is why, statistically, you are not likely to find yourself with one who is those things.

I think breaking the no contact agreement is not a good idea. Your motivation is fear, fearing that the distance will break you apart more than you already are. This fear and desperation is not a helpful guide to making good choices.

You wrote that he keeps bringing up the idea that “love should be a free act, not dependent”- there is a lot there, I think, to understand about him. Do you know anything about his relationships with any of his parents, or both, past and present?

anita