Dear Elle,

thanks for keeping us updated on your situation.

There’s no point being in a relationship with a significant other who makes you afraid. That’s why you felt suffocated, you couldn’t think or act normally in his presence for the sake of not doing something wrong to upset him. Yes, he was an amazing guy or still is maybe but, weigh the good and the bad, do you think it’s worth it to continue?

Try to communicate with him via phone or email and explain in details how you really felt in the relationship and why you think it would be mentally unhealthy for you to continue. Highlight the good and bad sides of the relationship as well. I think by doing this, you’ll have a clear conscience and free mind which will enable you to move on. It is his obligation now to decide if he wants to fix himself and fight for you but, how long will the change in his attitude last before he reverts to the usual? How long are you willing to keep waiting?

As mentioned previously, you may never know if you made the right choice but hey, at least the future brings hope. What if there’s an amazing guy, with very little or no emotional baggage waiting for you somewhere? Without moving on or taking the risk, you’ll never meet him. Also, there’s no guarantee the next guy will be any different. This is life.

The key thing to know is, there’s hope for you. Take the risk, move on and give yourself a shot at real happiness. You deserve it.