Dear Anita

Yes, all this is correct.

The first date, when I said I have to go, it lasted about an hour and a half. Yes, I watched the time, he told me earlier he wants to watch a football game in the evening and he doesn’t have that much time (it was about 4 pm and the match was 8 pm). so I at one point I felt insecure and I thought it’s better to leave first, maybe he just said that about this match because he wanted to have a reason to leave.

Yes, I didn’t trust him. But also when it comes to sex I really have an issue with that. When I met Tom I didn’t want to do it because I knew he doesn’t want commitment. For first 6 months were just hanging out, I spent the night at his home and we didn’t do anything, because I didn’t want to. It was the best time. But then he started to manipulate me, telling me about being together, living together, holding hands, I was in love and I agreed but then it changed again and this toxic relationship started. During this time many times I didn’t want to stay in his house anymore because I started feeling bad with what was happening so he blamed me that I’m indecisive. I blamed myself it was my fault, that it all started badly because I didn’t want that, and too much time has passed and now it was all ruined. I was desperate to keep him so I tried, I spent more time with him, cooked for him etc gave it some time to fix it but he didn’t care already. until I decided I wanted to leave which took me some time. And now I met someone who said he wants to be serious, to treat me well and respect me so I believed him. It was overwhelming how he talked about his feelings and I thought he acted weird but I liked him and I wanted to give him a chance.  I thought I don’t want to ruin it and didn’t think about my own feelings. I wanted this to not be a disaster. I knew it was happening too fast and it was way too fast for me but I thought he wants that and it’s how it should happen.  I don’t know if it makes sense to you. So to your question about me trusting someone: No, I never did this because I trusted someone, I always did this because I thought I had to, and as a way to not lose someone.