Dear Sheelanagig:

When you confronted him about him living with a girlfriend and not revealing that to you for the seven months relationship with you (August-March), he told you that “he didn’t think to tell me about her bc when we started talking he didn’t think we would end up connecting so well so he hid it from me, and just continued the lie”-

this means that for him, it is okay to lie to a woman for as long as he doesn’t feel “connected so well” to the woman. It also means that once he does feel connected-so-well to a woman, it is still okay to lie to her, to “continue the lie”.

“What is wrong with him?” you asked. My answer, in the context of your share, is that the thing that is wrong with him is that it is okay with him to lie and continue a lie in a relationship.

“What is wrong with me?” you asked. My answer: you liked him a whole lot. The relationship with him meant a lot to you. Once the truth hit you, you pushed away the inconvenient truth from your awareness, and pretended best you could that it wasn’t there.

I hope to read from you again.

anita