You are totally 100% correct and I wish I could go back in time because I have put myself in situations where I was victimized due to low self esteem. In therapy we talk about the everyday adult me, the mean parent me and the helpless kid me. Working on recognizing when each of them is “making an appearance” and then trying to ground myself in the adult to deal with the child and adult as needed. I feel like that make me sounds very crazy, but I hope you know what I’m talking about.

When I first posted this topic, I felt very confused and blurred in my mind, which is unusual to me, I feel like I usually have at least a tiny clue as to what is going on. I think I was just in major denial that I was used by someone I trusted. Slowly I’m accepting it and trying not to beat myself up for being a sucker.

I just want  to say I very much appreciate the time, effort, concern, wisdom and compassion you have given to me thru this conversation.