Dear Lola:

You wrote: “we kinda fought because I let my anxiety control me and I was being snappy and rude… I’m worried, like TERRIFIED, that I made things worse… but I just gotta ignore that for now, I guess”- no, don’t ignore it.

First thing for you to work on in psychotherapy and otherwise is to control your anxiety enough so to not become aggressive toward him. When you are aggressive, being rude to him, you really are putting the relationship at risk, and you are hurting him, you are doing wrong by him.

So focus on not being aggressive with him no matter how you feel. It is possible to feel anxious and yet, to say nothing. To leave the situation  (take time out, take your space) and return to communicating with him when you are calm.

anita