@Prash @Elt

Thank you both for your replies, I really appreciate you taking the time to read through what I wrote and offering advice as well as support.

I’ve created a new worksheet for myself so I can consciously write down those thoughts when they’re being unreasonable, and I just had a chance to try it this morning. The worksheet consists of five columns:

• ‘Thought/Situation’ – What anxious thought I had or what the current (likely wrong) perceived situation is.
• ‘Response’ – How I responded to the thought or situation; could be a feeling (like sadness) or an action (such as sending a message out of that neediness or fear).
• ‘Distortion’ – What distortion lies within the thought? Took this from an earlier worksheet given to me by my therapist during my depression recovery. Includes things like Mind-Reading, Magnification, Emotional Reasoning, Fortune-Telling, etc.
• ‘Why This is Unreasonable’ – What is the problem with this thought or assumption about the situation? Are my expectations unreasonable? Could there be another reason for this situation? Why is it unhelpful? Can this be proven, and if not, why are you taking it as a fact? Those sorts of questions to help discredit the thought.
• ‘Evidence on Contrary’ – What has he done that might go against this thought? (A text he’s sent, something he’s done, or asking you if you want to spend some time with him, those sorts of things.)

I’ve also found a journal I can re-purpose for my idea of writing down the things I appreciate about him each day. I’m already in the habit of writing down three things I am grateful for every evening, so this will be another thing to add to my routine, to remind me to focus on the positives in the relationship while I’m working on correcting this anxiety.

I will also check out those books you’ve recommended, Elt! While my Self Esteem is a lot better than it used to be, I do suppose in some areas it could still use a little improvement. It’s funny, my self esteem tends to be pretty good when I’m single, but when I begin dating it’s as if that self esteem takes a bit of a backseat to what my partner thinks of me. In the relationship, I question myself, but out of a relationship, I decide I’m way good enough as a person! Maybe that’s something I need to look into a bit more to figure out why this happens. I do have a hunch, it’s just a matter of digging in a bit deeper to heal what’s wrong.