Dear miranam:

“Now, having this knowledge and understanding, what am I supposed to do?”-

Most religions will tell you what you are “supposed to do”- stay in that marriage, that holy word, marriage, twist your thinking any which way so to feel  better. Lots of people will tell you what you are supposed to do. My first inclination just now was to tell you what you are supposed to do.

I will point to these options of what you may do, covering all possibilities that will come to my mind as I type:

1. Nothing, keep going as is. The positive in that is that you will not exert the great effort it takes to change your life circumstances. Another positive is that the brain/body cannot withstand constant misery, so you will continue to get your breaks from misery somehow. Maybe you can make those breaks last longer by taking vacations alone, far and away. Or otherwise spending more time away from home.

2. Something. Be is as small a something as having your own bedroom in your home, no longer having a physical relationship with this man.

Something a bit bigger: separate, move and live in your own place.

Doing something is about no longer doing the same, interrupting the old way of living. Better for your son, by the way, to no longer observe the old way of your living.

What can I say… well, I would choose something, if I was you. A matter of self respect for one, I wouldn’t want to let a man use my body when he doesn’t care about my feelings. As simple as that.

anita