Dear Flower:

You are welcome.

“How will I know if someone is truly empathetic?”

My answer, observe over time the following:

1. when you share once in a while a hurt that you feel or felt (not with him, not as a result of his behavior), how does he behave? If as you talk he looks repeatedly elsewhere, checking his phone, maybe, interrupting you to talk about something else, or when you are done he says something like stuff happens or maybe he points to you that you did something stupid that brought about your hurt, then he is not empathetic.

2. When he talks to you about other people,  or in company,  he talks to the others about someone who is not there, does he make fun of people who are, let’s say, shy or who made mistakes, does he refer to people as worthless or dumb or other put down terms? If he does, he is not empathetic.

How did your ex boyfriend behave in regard to # 1 and 2?

anita