Hello Anita!

I can’t really figure out what happened during my childhood which lead me to believe that I must achieve anything to give me this value that I otherwise don’t have, but it really looks like that this is what keeps generating all this, like you have just pointed out.

I’ve been watching my feelings and my thoughts with a lot of curiosity and not really making any move out of it (besides asking for help here), which I think is good, since it could be disastrous if I had tried to get in touch with her after I found out that she’s in a new relationship, and I will keep doing so until I find a way out of it.

As I said I’m trying to focus my efforts on helping people around me and trying to make this the biggest purpose behind all my actions. All these achievments have put me in a position which a lot of people look at me as someone who motivates them and it feels great to help these people to believe in themselves to also achieve whatever they want. I feel really good doing so and I guess this might be much more fulfilling than any gold medal… Certainly it is much better than spend my energy comparing myself to my ex’s new boyfriend or whoever else.

Also, this obsession with her turns it impossible for me to really open my heart for a new relationship because nobody will ever be good enough while I keep her on this pedestal that I have put her.

Not an easy think for me to do, but I’m trying to work on it…

Thank you so much once again, I love your replies 🙂