Dear DefinitelynotJessicaAlba:

It is very refreshing to me to read a post by a person able, as you are, to see the very big picture and to present it from all angles, in an objective, fair and reasonable way. Your post reads very credible, therefore, trustworthy to represent the truth of your situation.

You wrote: “it feels like he might only love an uncomlicated image of me rather than me myself… I have to be a person”. This is the key sentence to me. I don’t think you can be content being that “satellite” you referred to. You really are a whole person, that is, you are aware, you see the big picture, therefore you cannot be content living in a small corner of the picture that you see so well.

Another important sentence to my understanding: “he’s stubborn and does not take criticism well”- if he doesn’t take criticism that is given to him in a gentle way, that is a problem.

Another problem: his relationships with his family, with his mother, cousins and so forth read as well established. It is not likely that he will change those. Part of his relationship with his family is that you, being a part of that family, I suppose, take on the satellite position, the one you have been experiencing for a long time.

You wrote: “it feels like he might only love an uncomplicated image of me rather than me myself. If that’s the case I love him but I don’t want him”. Reads to me that he does love an uncomplicated image of you.

A third option: you processing your visa in a different way, other than marrying him?

anita