Dear DefinitelynotJessicaAlba:

I understand and did not suggest to you in my first of these two replies any of the following things you mentioned in your recent post: that you don’t love him, that he is stupid or uneducated, that he is jealous of you, that he is a bad person, that his family are bad people, that you are in an abusive relationship, that your boyfriend coerced you into sex or threatened you in any way, or belittled or embarrassed you. None of these things.

What I did suggest to you is that his relationships with his family members are well established, that within these relationships seems like you are in that satellite position you mentioned; that him being stubborn and not taking criticism well is not promissing and that I agree with you that it does seem that he loves an uncomplicated image of you

You are very clear: “If I’m going to marry this guy he needs to put me first and consider me his closest relative… I need a way to exist in his family where they look at me as his equal in all things”.

The clarity you have will be helpful in making this happen and I hope it will happen.

anita