Dear caroline:

It is fine with me that you started a new thread and that you will continue to post on the older thread. I will be glad to continue to reply to you on the other thread as well as on this one.

You wrote: “is it not justified that I am not authentic at times to protect myself from potential suffering?”

If you were held in extreme captivity, as in a criminal scenario, a gun pointed at you, then of course it is not time to be honest, you say whatever you need to say to stay alive. But in most life situations, although danger is a possibility it is unlikely or the danger is not that horrendous.  it is better to be honest, not to share too much, but just enough so to not compromise yourself unnecessarily.

I am not suggesting that you will be honest at work because it is the moral or ethical thing to do but because it will help your well being, that is, long term there will be less suffering for you if you are honest.

You wrote: “It is hard for me to be courageous when I am worrying about keeping a roof over my head”. You shared that the job doesn’t pay well, is menial, the kind of job that is the “bottom of the ladder, the work nobody wants to do”. Well, if you lose it, I suppose you can get another menial job that doesn’t pay well, one that nobody wants to do, no?

I mean it is not that you will be losing a good paying job with lots of people waiting to take your spot. This is not a job worth you unnecessarily compromising yourself but it is a good opportunity for you to practice courage. Think to yourself: what is the risk involved, what is likely to be the retaliation?

As is, with the compromises you make, feeling like a fraud and losing sleep over it, you are not likely to last at the job. So why not try something different (courageously and honestly asserting yourself)?

anita