Dear Silvina:

” Talking to a wall” is not part of a good relationship. It is obvious to me too that staying with your current boyfriend and letting go of the ex boyfriend is the right thing for you to do.

“why does it hurt so much imagining that I’d never see him again?”- because over the years you were with the ex you became emotionally attached to him. Regardless of his behavior, you connected a feeling of safety with his person. So away from him feels dangerous.

In reality, your current boyfriend is where your safety is, your emotional safety because unlike the old he hears you, he considers you in his decisions, the two of you communicate well. But the feeling of safety connected to the old still exists. It is similar to a toddler who is attached to an old blanket and wants to carry it everywhere with her. The blanket doesn’t provide real safety.

anita