Dear Laika:

Anger is not a bad feeling, there really is no such thing as a bad feeling. So you are not a bad person or a bad girlfriend for feeling angry at him. What is bad is abusive behavior. I used to not know the difference between those two things and therefore I used to feel that I am a bad person simply for feeling angry.

Let’s look at your anger, it has its reasons and it has logic in it. If someone abuses you or is otherwise unfair to you, the logic behind the anger is to no longer be abused or otherwise no longer suffer unfair treatment from another.

Another thing, you have plans with this man. You have expectations. He is not living up to your expectations. The logic behind this anger is that you either give up on him and end the relationship or stay and change your expectations.

What do you think/feel?

anita