Anita,

Yes what I can do is think about my day to day choices that I make with my words and action because I am still not competent enough to take a big decision.

The loss of the sensitive side for my husband comes from his culture and background he has grown up in. We are Indians and may be you are too based on your name. He grew up without a father who passed away when he was little and he has only grown up repressing his emotions and learning to only be practical such that he is securing his family’s future. These are commendable qualities in a man. But what I have seen is that even his family promotes emotional retardness so much so that he is always conflicted between being self-aware vs being hypocritical. For example in a healthy marriage boundaries are necessary. Indian families can be intrusive and possessive of their child and grandchild. While I get that I don’t wish to be treated like a third party in his family and that too after I do a lot for them. So I requested to him that my interactions with them will be lesser. He took offense at that. Long story short he pretty much made it clear that he wishes to share nothing with me and I should do the same. I wish I could help him see that talking about the differences do not have to be critical. Small instances like this have drawn this big gap between us and that’s why we are where we are. He wants a marriage where I just cook and clean and smile for him. I wished for a friendship. He doesn’t wish to be one. He was early on but now he says his love for me has changed and he just wants to keep it business. I feel I know where this is heading.

Regarding my coworker you are right, I wanted a safety net. But I am wiser now to know that I should not look for one, if it is there, it is. If not some other time or in some other form. Even though this person is special to me and I appreciate what he could offer, I need to currently get hold of my situation at home.

Thanks to replying to my posts.