Dear Gigi:

I think I understand better. Although I am not Indian I come from a culture of “intrusive and possessive” familes. I know intrusive and possessive and have suffered from it.

I understand then, how your husband was at one  point sensitive to you, loving, but when faced with a conflict between you and his family, he sided with his family, possessed by them, as he was trained to be. And you became a third party, at best.

His loyalty is with his family of origin, not with you, and when there is conflict, game over. Gone is the sensitive, friendly man that he was. He is owned by his parents, dead or alive.

To live in peace with him,  you have to submit to his parents/ family of origin, be that third party. Is he waiting for you to do that, do you think, willing to reward you with some.. love if and when you submit to his family?

anita