What Dave says is very strong and on point! I support you taking the journey that a good therapist will take you through. We have gone ‘through’ a lot. You, me, everybody! Your strength must prevail and taking help is necessary! You can’t forgive that woman because you can’t forgive your self.

More Importantly, you must derive happiness and joy from your own life before you can share it with others. The work must be taken seriously. The damage and hurt are deep and it will take at least a year. Well worth it when compared to all of that time that our issues have cost us! 30 is not old. you still have time to overcome this.