Hi Anita!

Thank you for your response 🙂 It is true that I found peace (i.e., I stopped resisting it so hard, and was able to go to work without hoping for car accidents) but I never found joy. I still disliked the work, but I was OK with disliking it.

I ended up deciding not to betray what I had told myself before, and did not take the job. Like you said, bills can be paid otherwise. It was a tough decision, as I have been looking for employment for some time now, but in the end, I believe I made the right choice. I finally was able to make my own choice and not rely on others, which was hard and full of doubt, but I guess a step in the right direction!

Again, thank you for your encouragement!