Hi Anita, 

When I read you suggesting I upalod an a photo where I look overweight and also mention it in my dating profile, I thought to myself, yea I would never do that. However the more I thought about it the more it resonated with me. Because often times it has been a source of my anxiety. My only issue with that is I want to date only within my culture because that’s what I prefer and on these sites are people from our community that my family knows. I don’t want my personal insecurities on display for everyone I also don’t want everyone to judge me based on that.  I’m also afraid it won’t attract the type of men I’m attracted to. If a dating profile ever has an option, I do alway pic an appropriate option such as curvy or a few extra pounds. Although your suggestion is something I ’m considering. 

I am willing to communicate back and forth with you to tend to the few other things.  I feel like it helps to speak to someone that you don’t know in “real” life that won’t judge you.  

As for the questions you had, people perceive me as confident because I voice my opinion.  I’m not shy in a group setting.  My friends often describe me as funny, life of the party and not afraid.  I also take care of myself in many other ways. My nails are always manicured.  I have a very good fashion sense, when I go out I’m dressed well.  My hair and makeup is done which is a hobby of mine (I’m not one of those people that get done up every day). Some days I wear no makeup to work.  When I do get dolled up, I always receive compliments.  At work, I take initiative, I’m strong minded and focused.  I’ve been promoted many times. I’m very well liked at work and process strong leadership qualities.  I currently switched roles from a management position to a different area because I wanted to try something different.   It’s still the same company, I’ve been in my new role at work for under two months and my boss is thrilled with me.  

I feel like I carry over my leadership into my relationships.  I like to plan and prepare.  That’s part of the reason I might have over reacted when this guy changed plans on me and didn’t give me the courtesy of telling me as soon as he found out. I also sometimes feel like I want things I want.  I feel like it’s hard for me to give up control of  things.  I’m very detail oriented. At work, in my personal life.  I dissect, over analyze, break stuff down, sometimes it works to my advantage (professionally) sometimes it doesn’t (personally). I think this comes from my parents, they never get anything done. Honestly my moms lazy! My dad just works and that’s all he’s ever worried about, so I feel like if anything will ever get done it has to be by me.  So in order for me to do things and get them done, I need to know things.  If other people are involved then o need to know what they are doing. So I can plan what I’m doing.   I like to know those things.   Some people just say yea we will figure it out.  I’m the type to figure it out and have a plan so I can just do and if there’s an issue then I will figure  it out.  The reason why I freaked out when I I couldn’t talk to the guy and talk things through.  I hope I answered the questions you had. Let know if you have any others.