Dear NeedMeSomeBuddha:

I am ready to put one  issue to rest: your mother is  not a resource, not a plus regarding your dating/ marriage aspirations. Better not involve her at all, not seek her  advice or input, nothing, just present  her with  the facts, that  is, present  her with the man you chose, once you did make  a choice.

Regarding the  dating site being a  place  where people you know visit, I didn’t  know that before, now I know. I still thing that either a  photo or some reference to your weight on the site is a good idea, a few words, nothing elaborated, not including feelings on the matter, and  these few words will be  part  of a bigger  paragraph with  other  items in is, so the weight doesn’t stand up as An  Issue.

Regarding your success at the work place, the fact that you are employed for one and that  you are doing well, this will attract a lot  of men, a big plus in the dating world, an attraction, so I would put that in the profile, of course, not in a bragging way, but a factual, truthful, yet  impressive way.

The rules  of  operation in the workplace are not the same, or can’t be the same as in a relationship. There are men who are passive and maybe  prefer it that way,  for such a man, a dominant woman will be an attractive thing, question is, will a passive man be attractive in your eyes?

Assuming not (and correct me if I am wrong), then the rules of operation within a relationship need to be different  from those in the workplace. A man needs not  be  micromanaged or  managed at all. It should  be a team work,  an   equal partnership, a relaxed  equal partnership, a win-win partnership. I would state that  in the  profile but  not  in a way that is likely to  turn off a man, especially a man of  traditional values.

If you think it  may be  of value (up to you, really), you can share with me about  prior relationships, or  a prior relationship that lasted more than  13 days, how did that  go,  what were the  problems in the interactions between you and the man?

anita