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Reply To: Unsure about my direction

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#262689
Anonymous
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Dear  Nikkole:

Regarding your therapist input: “There are people who are having a harder time than you are…”- this sentence  was  not said with good  intentions (“I’m sure her intentions were  good”), it was said out of some anger, impatience. She  lashed  out at you having  said that. There  can not possibly be a  good intent in that, not for a person with some insight and awareness. Maybe at other times her input was  good, but not at that time. If she didn’t apologize  for her damaging comment, she should  have.

Regarding “this uneasy, underlying anxiety that always seems to be in the background every second of ever day”, this anxiety is likely to be the same  anxiety, the same  daily fear you experienced growing up when your mother was in her room and you were outside her room, waiting for the next time she comes  out  of her room and “stir drama” next. It is the anxiety of anticipating her next drama.

You wrote  that you beat  yourself up for leaving the nursing program, but don’t you beat yourself up for other things, every day, smaller things?

anita