Dear N:

You wrote, “all my friends are happy and  in love”. We think that when we are so miserable. It seems like everyone is happy because we are  so miserable.

I think that  you have  been miserable for  too long.

Back to your revealing thread of Oct 2017: “I’ve never been in an honest relationship before. So I’m not used to being open to anyone or reliant on anyone, which some  have  told me makes me seem standoffish, insincere and cynical. Plus intimacy is something I’ve never had to deal  with, even in terms of  just  personal space. Plus I’ve become  a bit disenchanted with  people. My standards are too high or something..  I just recently try to  handle things on my own and just keep to myself about what I’m  thinking…  I’ve been told this before that I should talk to an actual therapist, but as my  folks don’t believe in them (my dad isn’t necessarily on the  side of ‘psychobabble’)”-

A good psychotherapist is what you need, one that will not engage in psychobabble.

We are social animals, we can’t be  mentally  healthy without healthy connections with others, intimate connections where you share your thoughts and feelings as-they-are, honestly, openly, at least with one  other person who will let you finish your sentences, who will listen to you empathetically and respectfully.

Keeping to yourself (“handle things on my  own and just  keep to myself about what I’m thinking”)  was all  you could do  at home because no one adequately listened  to you, so it was a solution, but not the long term kind of solution. Short term, yes, not long term.

If you want  to talk, or  communicate here on your thread more at length (maybe there  will be some help in if for you), type away anything you’d like and/ or answer my following  questions regarding to the quote  I included in this  post:

1. What do you mean by not having had dealt with intimacy, “even in terms of just personal space“?

2. What standards were you referring to in “My standards are  too high or something”?

anita