Dear Eli:

You ended your original post with the question: “leave him or stay with him and be wait and be responsible for my  acts?”

There are  three parts to your question:

1) “be responsible for my acts?”- you are already responsible for having a relationship because you choose to have a relationship; you don’t have to. You are not threatened with hunger or homelessness or violence  if you end the relationship with him, this means you are free to choose. You have made  a choice to have  a relationship with him so far and you can make  a different  choice next.

2) you presented three choices:

– a. “wait (for him)”- wait for him  to leave his wife, you mean, to leave his children with his wife so to make  a home  with you, is what you have  been   waiting  for, correct?

– b. “stay with him”, that is keep the relationship as is,  not waiting for him to leave  his  wife, correct?

-c. “leave him”, meaning not waiting and not accepting the relationship as is, but leaving.

Well,  I  will be away from the  computer for a while. Would  you like to make two lists: one of the advantages you enjoy and expect to continue to enjoy for each  category, a, b and c, and the other list, the disadvantages and distress you already suffered and think that you will suffer for each category, a, b and c?

One more thing, his children, how old are they, how many, and  are they better for  him being a relationship with you or will it be better for their well being  if he  is not in a relationship with  you?

anita