Dear free man:

The easy question for me to answer would be: should I fight for the well being  of my three children? That would be a Yes,  of course. Therefore my answer to your question, “Should  I fight for my marriage?” is- only if it serves your children well, and not if it doesn’t.

Often enough it is not good for the children to live with both parents.  If parents fight, it harms children,  so better the two live separately so that the home  where the children live is peaceful, calm.

If the parents are  miserable in the marriage, anxious and distressed, that anxiety and distress will harm the children, so better the two live separately and each parent is calm when interacting with the children.

Here is one concern, based  on your short post, that I have regarding anxiety and distress of the individual parents in this case, you and your wife, you wrote: “I’m not continuing this nonsense homosexual relationships”. I don’t think it is that easy to make such a decision and follow through with it. An urge, a physical urge led you again and again to  look for men. I don’t think an urge like that goes away because you call it “nonsense”.

Let’s say you stay in the marriage, your wife is interested in continuing the marriage, you calm down. Then you are out and about and there is this man that looks attractive to you, you have a window of  opportunity right-there-and-then, what happens next?

It is likely to happen, again and again, and you continue to compartmentalize it best you can, a husband and father in the open, a homosexual man in secret. I imagine this will continue  to cause you distress and will negatively affect the marriage, like it already has.

I think it is better for you to give up the marriage and co parent your children best you can. Post again if you’d like to continue this communication with me.

anita