thank you for your input Anita, what you wrote makes a lot of sense i will meditate on how i behaved in my mother’s presence and see if i can pull some more ideas to share with you

about the questions you asked of how my mom was weird in front of me, maybe i didn’t explain myself correctly what i tried to say was that my friends used to make comments in front of me of how my mom was weird. i guess it was because she was always sort of angry or grumpy (she would always pay attention to the negative side of people, I can’t remember her saying something nice about somebody she always thought people was mean or with a bad intention even my friends)

as for my wife she doesn’t want to go back with me and i get it i have caused so much pain, i just want her to be happy for her and for my kids. (although thinking on seeing her with another man and this person raising my kids brakes my heart in pieces) but i know that there would be nothing i can do about it.

how do you think i can start engaging on healing myself, any suggestions?

Freeman