Dear StraTB:

You are welcome.

You wrote regarding your mother:”I really do not  hold her responsible for my failings”-

Hold her responsible for her behavior. See  to  it that she behaves toward you respectfully.

Better not accept disrespect, such as being repeatedly accused without basis in reality, and aim at accepting it calmly. Better not be in a situation or with a person that disrespects you.  All  she has  to do is treat her loving daughter respectfully.  I  hope  she chooses to do so.

anita