Dear Eli:

His plan is to financially  support his wife and kids and to visit his kids regularly if he doesn’t live with them. I understand  this part. Here I s  my problem with his plan:

He said: “if she  accepts this”, that  is, if she accepts that he financially support them and that he can visit his children regularly, then he  will move in with you.

But  on the  first page  of your thread, you wrote: “his wife always make  fights and  problems for everything”- doesn’t read to me like a woman who will accept what he wants her to accept.

His plan includes the  following: if she doesn’t accept his plan and  asks for a divorce, then the  kids will be  asked with whom they want to live and  he  will turn to the courts to decide on the terms of life after the divorce.

To look more into the divorce option, I would  like to understand what happened  before when he tried to divorce her (“he one times tried divorced her”, page 1)- what happened?

There is one more  thing: he told  you that he “did not touch my  wife she always complaining and do said I am busy I am not in mood”- does this mean that she  is still pursuing him to have sex with her? And if she does, how many times will a man say I-am-busy, or I-am-not-in-the-mood? I mean,  over time, there  has to be  times when she sees that  he  is not busy?

In other words, if   his explanation to her about not having sex with her was  that he has permanently lost his sex drive, that reason can work on the long run, but I-am-busy and I-am-not-in-the-mood are temporary excuses that are not likely to work on the long run.

If I was you, I would  bring  up the topics I just did with him, calmly, patiently. It will take more than one or two conversations to figure out the sensibility or lack of sensibility of the plan, as well as the sincerity of his intent.

anita